Do you ever look at yourself and feel you are not good enough? Do you have a hard time taking criticisms and feel attacked when someone points out your mistakes? Is doubting yourself before every task your daily routine? If so, you need to adjust your thought and change the way you view yourself.
What does healthy self-esteem do for you?
If you see around, you’d realise that the struggle to lead a happy life where one is proud and satisfied with oneself, is real. How hard it is to see yourself as you are- with your weaknesses and strengths? Too hard, it seems. Most people either look down upon themselves or are too self-assured. Neither works in the long run. The right way instead is to see yourself as you are and have a realistic view that shows you both your abilities and what you lack as they are, without mixing up emotions. That’s how one keeps growing continuously while still being able to appreciate their current skills.
Valuing yourself enables you to express your needs and helps you make better decisions. It gives you a sense of security which is necessary to build strong connections with others. In addition to these, people having high self-esteem also seem to handle stress and effectively as they trust their abilities. When you have high self-esteem, you are generally satisfied with what you are doing with your life.
So, let me walk you through 7 tips that can boost your self-esteem and help you navigate your life happily and confidently.
Practice Self Compassion
Forgiving yourself for your own mistakes is probably the hardest thing when it comes to building self-esteem. What’s your reaction when something bad happens to your best friend, or they commit a mistake? You probably console them and ask them to move on, right? You tell them that it’s okay to make mistakes and one mistake doesn’t decrease their value at all. But when you fail to meet your own expectations, you immediately start hating yourself and become your worst critic. Why not treat yourself like you treat your best friend? You are human too, and kindness is what you need even from yourself. Next time you make an error, take a moment to realise what went wrong and accept it kindly just as you would do with your best friend. That’s the secret to improving your self-esteem.
Let go of your limiting beliefs
What you say to yourself all day long has a huge impact on your self-esteem and confidence. Therefore, it’s important to be aware of your thoughts and replace negative ones with positive and encouraging thoughts before you internalise the negative image created by you as your identity.
Self-esteem is how we view ourselves. It’s a completely subjective self-evaluation and almost always has little to do with your actual worth and value. However, many people fail to realise this and take their opinions about themselves too seriously, especially when these opinions aren’t too pleasant. This, in turn, affects their confidence and prevents them from living a happier life with faith in their abilities. Negative self-talk and comparison with others give rise to feelings of inadequacy. And anything that makes you feel undeserving needs to be cleared out. Here it’s your inner critic.
You can improve how you see yourself and learn to recognise your worth accurately by simply eliminating some of these unhealthy habits. Replace negative thoughts with positive affirmations and gratitude and see how drastically it changes the way you evaluate your value and identity.
By challenging your thoughts and doing things you didn’t think you could do, you allow yourself to realise your capabilities which makes you even more confident.
The problem with waiting for approval and appreciation from others to feel worthy is that the wait often ends in disappointment. Looking for appreciation is normal, but you are sure to damage your self-esteem one day if that’s the only thing you rely on to feel good about yourself. People may or may not like you. But you must like yourself for something every day. Make sure that not a single day goes without finding a thing you can appreciate about yourself. The simple practice of taking a minute and thinking about what you do well greatly affects your opinion about yourself and pushes you to be better. Moreover, this reduces the power others have over our perception and decisions.
Keep Your Promises to Yourself
How do you think you would take it if a person always lets you down? You would doubt the person’s worth and form a negative opinion about them despite not wanting to do so. That’s exactly what happens when you let yourself down time and again. By not keeping your words and running away from the goals you set for yourself, you degrade the value of your promises and lose respect in your own eyes. It naturally knocks you down and not feeling good about yourself then becomes inevitable. Taking pride in oneself, however, comes from taking action and doing the right thing. So, try to be loyal to yourself and fulfil your promises made to yourself.
Be Comfortable with what you Lack
Having high self-esteem doesn’t mean you have to feel you are perfect at everything. It’s accepting the fact, that you aren’t, nor can be perfect at everything and being okay with it. Constantly worrying about inabilities takes your focus away from things you are great at and acts as a hurdle in your learning process. Whereas accepting both the positive and negative traits helps you see yourself more kindly. After all, self-esteem is about accepting yourself as you are, and creating a false image of perfectionism and striving towards achieving that is in no way the route to self-acceptance. Put simply, “Identify your problems but give your power and energy to solutions.”
Self-esteem influences the quality of relationships we form, the level of happiness in life, the kind of decisions we make and our overall emotional wellbeing. You are special and unique and you deserve to know that. If you are comfortable accepting what you lack and have a fair idea of what you have, congratulations, your self-esteem is just right. But if you undermine your achievements and overvalue other’s opinions about you, your self-esteem needs a boost. Well, that’s not a thing to worry about as you got these tips to improve your self-esteem!